


Once Again, with Feeling

by DragonOfChanges



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, Grace Sharing, Grieving Dean, Loss of Grace, Loving Sam, M/M, Nephilim, Resurrection, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-16 00:23:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11242404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonOfChanges/pseuds/DragonOfChanges
Summary: This is how I would like to see Season 13 begin...





	Once Again, with Feeling

Dean knelt on the cold ground outside of the cabin, oblivious to everything but the body of the angel, Castiel. He reached down and smoothed the hair from Cas brow, fingers brushing the cooling skin. He focused his gaze on the now peaceful face, eyelids hiding blue eyes that would never again open. Focused on lips so still, that would never again pass breath, or sound. He would not look at Cas’ chest, at the wound that gaped there from his own blade, stabbed by a crazed archangel. He would not look at the ground to either side of the angel, where burned wing prints marred the grass. He couldn’t. To see it would make it real. Would make it permanent. He’d be gone, forever. The green eyed hunter looked up to the Heavens, pleading with his eyes, with his heart, with his very soul, because his voice was lost to him in this moment. He prayed, not caring if this time he was begging. 

'Chuck. God, please. Bring him back. Please don’t take him from me. It can’t end like this. I know I should have said it. I know that I should have told him before now...but I was afraid. Everything I ever care about...dies. I couldn’t let myself feel. I didn’t want to lose him... I didn’t want that pain. I was selfish. But, now...I can’t let him go without him knowing that I love him. Please, give him back to me...if only long enough to tell him how I feel, long enough to say goodbye.'

There was only silence as an answer. Silence, except for the sobs coming from the green eyed man. Dean fell forward, his head resting on the chest of the angel, his tears soaking into the torn shirt below him. Lost to his grief, Dean didn’t hear two sets of footsteps behind him. Sam approached his brother quietly, with the other-a sandy haired youth with hazel eyes-lingering behind. Sam had found the nephilim, nearly full grown and naked, in the nursery that Castiel had helped Kelly prepare for him.

***************************

 

Sam squatted down, to be at eye level with the being. He cleared his throat.

“I...I’m Sam-”

“Sam Winchester.” A smooth voice intoned, though the beings lips never moved. “Brother to Dean Winchester. Friend of the Seraphim Castiel. A Hunter.” The nephilims eyes glowed at this last statement. Sam flinched. Oh, crap. This...being thought Sam was going to try to kill him because of what he did for a living. He had to make it clear that a fight with an archangels nephilim was not what he wanted right now! He dropped the angel blade he’d brought in, and held up his empty hands as a gesture of peace. The creatures eyes dimmed slightly.

“Um..yeah. And you are?” Sam asked, trying to delay what seemed like his inevitable smiting.

“My mother wanted to call me Jack. That name will do, for now.” Sam nodded, settling on the floor and kicking the discarded blade out of his reach. He took a deep breath.

“Jack, I’m sorry. Kelly...your mother...didn’t make it.” The nephilims eyes were sad.

“I know. I felt her pass. Her last living words were telling me he loved me. She gave her life for mine. She was a good woman.” Sam nodded. 

“She told me, before the reaper took her to Heaven, to look to my brother Castiel for guidance. Where is he?” Sam looked down, tears welling in his hazel eyes. Brother. The nephilim considered Cas a brother, not an enemy. 

“He...he didn’t make it. Your father, Lucifer, showed up to take you away, and Cas...Castiel died in the fight to seal him away from you.” Jack growled at the mention of his sires name. His eyes went wide. His voice became a whisper.

“I...never meant for that to happen. He wasn’t supposed to…brother...” His gaze grew hard, and his eyes glowed brightly. Sam backed away. “Take me to him. Take me to Castiel.” He snapped. Seeing Sam’s frightened look, he softened his tone. “Please.” After finding some clothes, obviously bought for Cas, in one of the other bedrooms, the duo went outside. They quietly approached the place where the fallen angel lay, the hunter keeping watch over his still form.

******************

“I need to examine him.” Jack said softly. Sam squatted down and gingerly put a hand on Dean’s shoulder.

“Dean. You need to move.” Dean gave no response, his shoulders shaking silently with the sobs he could no longer hold in. Sam pulled him back by his arms, gathering the shaking hunter to his chest. Dean wrapped his arms around his younger brother and buried his face in his chest. The dam had broken inside of Dean, and the flood of tears seemed unending.

“Shh, Dean. Shh. “Sam rubbed gentle circles on his back, soothing Dean as the elder had soothed him after childhood nightmares and scraped knees. Holding him tight, as Dean had held him after Jess' funeral. In a little while, the sobs became sniffles. Looking up, Dean suddenly realised that they were not alone. His face reddened with embarrassment. The other was watching him with a curious expression.

“Sammy, who’s that?” He asked, his voice shaky. He gave the being a wary glance, reaching for the gun tucked into his pants. Sam stopped him.

“That’s Jack, Dean. I think...He won't hurt us. He's not his fathers son.” Sam replied. Jack’s eyes glowed momentarily.

"Thats the nephilim?” Sam nodded. “I thought he’d be...smaller.” Sam shrugged

“I don’t know. I found him in the nursery, Naked. We talked. When I told him that Cas was...He demanded to see him. So I found clothes for him and brought him out. I wasn’t about to argue with the most powerful being in creation, Dean.” The nephilim moved to hover over Cas still form. Dean bristled with the move, but didn't leave Sams side. Sam trusted this...thing, so Dean would too. For now. Jacks head tilted in the confused gesture that seemed to be an angelic trait. His voice was a whisper, but still his lips didn’t move.

“His grace...is gone. I felt it at the playground, when I helped him kill Dagon, but I can’t feel it anymore. His wings…”Jack looked down to where the charred wing prints marked the soil. “That’s what happens when they die?.” He shuddered. He laid a gentle hand to Castiel’s chest. “Yet, some small part of him remains…” He cocked his head, looking at the hunters. “He’s been...human?” Sam nodded from where he and Dean sat huddled together.

“His lips don’t-” Dean hissed, eyes wide.

“I know. Shhh.”Sam replied. The nephilim ignored the exchange.

“I see. During that time, he gained a soul. Part of it remained when his grace was restored. It seems that I’m not the only one of my kind on earth, after all. The mix of soul and grace made him technically a nephilim as well. But now the grace is gone, and the vessel was killed by its leaving. Only the soul remains. There’s something else... When his grace returned, his newly forged soul was bonded to that of another. The bond that had been established in his true form linked the two. The nephilim looked at Dean. 

“You. He bonded his soul, his essence, to you. When I was inside my mothers womb, he would talk to me sometimes. He told me once of how he rescued the Righteous Man from Perdition. Of how that soul called to him from the depths of Hell.. He knew then that this was the only one he would ever truly love. Even if his love could never be openly returned.” Dean began to sob again.

“I couldn’t...I’m sorry. I’m sorry I never told him. That he never knew that I loved him.“ Dean looked at the fallen angel.

“I’m so sorry, Cas. I love you.” He reached out and touched the cheek of his beloved. Tears streamed from his eyes. 

“Dean. He knew.” Sam said. “I’m sure he knew, even if you couldn’t say it.” Jack cocked his head again, listening intently to something that the hunters couldn’t hear. The nephilim gestured to Dean.

“Come, sit beside him. Quickly, before the reaper arrives to harvest his soul. Hold his hand, and focus on your love for him. Focus on the bond between you.” The nephilims eyes held a determined look.

“What?” Dean asked, puzzled.

“I haven’t got time to explain. Just do it.” Dean moved into place beside Cas, taking his hand. Stroking the angels long fingers. Squeezing his hand tight. Thinking of only him. Jack moved to sit across from Dean. Leaning over the angels body, he put his left hand on Castiel’s chest, and his right on Dean’s shoulder, where long ago there had been a handprint branded on skin. His eyes began to glow brightly. The glow spread, quickly surrounding him, moving along his limbs. It spread down his arms, and into both hunter and fallen angel. Enveloping both, the glow surged when it met itself in the joined hands of hunter and seraphim, flaring so brightly that Dean and Sam both closed their eyes. Deans grip on Cas never loosened. When the glow finally subsided, Dean opened his eyes to look at Jack, not taking his hand from Cas’. Jack’s eyes were now brown. He dropped his hands and moved back to stand beside Sam.

“What? What did you do?” Before Jack could answer, there was a squeeze on his hand. The one attached to...

“Cas!” The angels eyes opened, momentarily glowing gold, as they had at the playground.They then faded to blue.

“Hello, Dean.” The hunter’s eyes again welled with tears., This time they were tears of pure joy. He gave the angel a mock scowl.

“I thought I told you never to do that again.” Cas looked sheepish. He sat up, gingerly.

“I’m sorry, Dean. I just wanted-” Dean cut him off, bringing him in for a tight hug.

“It’s ok. As long as you’re here with me. That’s the only thing that matters.” Then it was Dean’s turn to look sheepish.

“I have to tell you something, Cas. It’s something that I should have said a long time ago.” Cas looked at him, eyes questioning.

“I love you.” Cas grinned wide, then gave Dean a playful smirk.

“I know, you wookie.“ Dean looked startled. Did his awkward angel just make a weird Star Wars reference? Was he just Han Solo’d? Had he just been called a wookie? Cas continued.

“I love you too, Dean. I have ever since I pulled you from the Pit.” Dean took the angels face in his hands, and leaned in.

“Can I …?” He whispered. Cas nodded, and moved in closer. When their lips met, it was gentle, chaste, yet everything they both had wanted for so long.

“It’s about damn time.” Sam muttered from his place by Jack. Dean looked up at the interruption.

“Can it Sammy. But that doesn’t explain..." He looked at Jack, the kiss momentarily forgotten.

“What did you do? How? I mean, I’m grateful, but…” Cas put his hand on Dean’s arm.

“He gave up his angelic half, his grace, Dean. With our bond as a gateway, he used it to save me.” Cas turned to Jack “I don’t understand...the visions. All the great things you were going to do for humanity with your power…”

“Those are your things to accomplish, brother. They were never mine. I was always meant for a normal life.”

“You’re...human, now?” Cas asked. Jack nodded. “And I’m…?”

“Unique. You carry an archangels grace, the soul of your humanity, and the love that transcends all-even death.” He said, looking at Dean. “You two are mankind’s hope, Castiel ben Elohim, Dean Winchester. ” Cas shook his head at the new title, his new place in the world, trying to take it all in.

“Why...me?” He asked. Jack shrugged. 

“It's Dads plan for you, not mine. I simply did what He asked of me." He said. Sam, recovering his voice at last, piped up.

“So what now? For you as a human, I mean?” Jack sighed.

“For now, I’ll just take it one moment at a time.”

**Author's Note:**

> The usual non ownership disclaimer...Yada, yada...


End file.
